On Becoming Ms. BrickCityLove

It has been over a year since I last posted. I’ve debated whether I should come back for a long time. How long is too long away? Will I still be relevant? Will it be weird?

My last post was a feeble attempt at a blog makeover; ease of navigation and creating a cohesive visual experience. It was supposed to be a new, fresh start. A start a long time coming and yet not quite ready.

So I stopped. I stopped and walked away until I felt I could blog authentically.

You see – 2 years ago, Rob moved out.

Like “moved to a totally different state, we’re separating and now divorcing” moved out.

I pressed on for nearly a year. Blogging as if it didn’t happen. Slightly changing my wording from “us” & “we” to ‘it, the, & me’. A house & blog that reflected so many hopes and dreams now had to change.

Blogging without addressing it felt dishonest. It was happening but wasn’t something I was ready to tell the internet. So I stopped.

I’ve come to realize a few things throughout this past year.

  1. I really miss the community. I still read everyone’s blog but I stopped commenting and participating. That’s lame. You guys are all doing such wonderful things and I want to tell you as much.
  2. It’s a blog about the house & renovation but it doesn’t have to be so full of personal-life stuff. Being so open and public about our lives, our wedding (a previous internet life), our relationship, made crashing-and-burning so much harder. It’s embarrassing, shameful, emotionally exhausting. We failed at being married. That wasn’t supposed to happen. And yet, it did.
  3. Life changes. So things didn’t go as planned; make a new plan.
  4. Things are still happening with the house. I renovated a bathroom! And it looks great! I want to tell people about it. I want to share that.
  5. Documenting the process is really helpful. A coworker asked what color I painted said renovated bathroom and I couldn’t remember. I didn’t have it written down and it wasn’t until I found the empty-but-not-yet-thrown-away-can that I remembered the name.

So that’s where I’m at.

I’m sorry for being a shitty friend – to blog peeps and those in real life. I’ve shut a lot of very dear people out of my life for too long. Stopped talking. Stopped visiting. Stopped texting. Stopped facebooking. Stopped being a part of their lives and prevented them from being a part of mine. I am sorry. I love you. I want you back in my life. I’m ready to start sharing. I would like to be friends again.

Do I want to talk about it? Not really. Rob & I remain friends. There is no animosity between us. He’s an amazing person who deserves every happiness life has to offer.

Am I ok? Yes.

Am I keeping the house? Yes. Thankfully.

What’s next? The kitchen. It’s happening. June 7, 2012 = Demo Day. Big plans, people. BIG plans. {holy crap I’m so excited!!!}

The kitchen

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47 Responses to On Becoming Ms. BrickCityLove

  1. NancyO says:

    the blog The Ugly Duckling House had a similar post .. http://www.uglyducklinghouse.com/ … I loved your post and hope you continue to blog / post.

  2. Ms Pixie Skulls says:

    More power to you girl! Welcome back!

  3. Amanda says:

    Welcome back! Your blog was always one of my favourite reads. Looking forward to seeing your renovations!

  4. Oh Carrie, I’m so glad you’re dipping your toe back in the blogging waters! You’ve been missed!

    A year ago, I commented about possibly buying a fixer upper and how you inspired me to consider it. We didn’t take that leap, but we’re going to save as much as possible over the next year and potentially do it next year. I’ll be eagerly waiting for the results of the bathroom project and can’t wait to see what happens in the kitchen!

  5. kit@DIYdiva says:

    Welcome back to blogland Carrie! (Totally kept you on the blogroll even when you weren’t updating.) And I also completely understand the well-that-was-a-huge-life-change-that-wasn’t-part-of-the-plan-and-now-what disorientation… there were about 4-5 months when I knew I was moving out of my last house (and leaving the relationship with it) but it wasn’t public knowledge yet, and was the hardest time to write. I was also going to link to the post from Sarah @ the UggDuck, and my own, so you see… you’re not alone! We can start the Screw-The-Men-But-We’re-Keeping-The-Houses club.

    Also, so glad to hear you’re keeping the house and I can’t wait to see what you did with the bathroom. And that kitchen demo! So much fun. I’ve always said there is very little in life that can’t be fixed by hitting it with a hammer.

    • Thanks girl! Your post was super comforting for me to read. The Liberty House is AWESOME, btw!!! If I were to live in the country, that’s exactly the type of house I’d go for. Love following along with you!

  6. katie says:

    welcome back! i too kept you on my blogroll, i was excited to see something new from you today! can’t wait to read about the bathroom, and good luck with the kitchen!!

  7. I’ve missed you friend, and thought of you often. I’m truly sorry that you’ve had to go through so much. But, I’m so happy you are back. Lots of love sent your way. Cannot WAIT to read more about your renovation and especially that fabulous kitchen. I don’t think I heard back from you on FB. Did you decide IKEA?

    • Thanks sweetheart! I am going with IKEA; thanks for your feedback on that. LURVE the navy & white houndstooth quilt you made, btw. It’s fabulous. Isn’t hand binding so time consuming and yet totally worth it? Yours looks awesome.

  8. Thanks for coming back to us, I missed reading your updates. Blogging now may feel different , but remember that you have a whole host of fans and friends supporting you.

  9. Karen Wade says:

    You’re back! Glad to see you’re doing okay and if you need any help with demo day on June 7, let me know!

  10. kelliebelle says:

    So happy to see a post from you! I miss you, your wit and your fab projects! Sorry you have had a rough year, but I have no doubt you are rocking it once again. Welcome back to blogland….I for one, take many breaks when I need them 🙂

  11. Jess says:

    I’ve been lurking and waiting until you came back! So glad you did–I’ve missed your blog. Sorry to hear about your divorce, but so glad it was amicable. (is that weird to say since I don’t really know you? Sorry if it seems creeper-ish!)

  12. Missy says:

    Carrie. You’ve been in my Google reader for a year and a half now and so many times I wondered what happened but didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want you to think I was weird. Very sorry to hear about you and Rob but glad that you’re back. Cannot wait for the kitchen re-do. Welcome back!!!

  13. Robin says:

    Welcome back! I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so much but I’m excited to see what you’ve been up to!

    • Thank you! Your bathroom is really coming along too. Installing all that marble is not for the faint of heart and I’d never heard of expoxy grout until you posted about it. Something to look into for my next bathroom…

  14. Welcome back.The first post i read of yours was how you sorted your laundry closet. I was hooked. I read your entire blog the same day and was so inspired. You are an amazing person. I am so sorry that you had such a rough year, But I am so happy that you have decided to come back to blogland. Keep on posting!

  15. Catherine says:

    Welcome back! I never unsubbed so it was a pleasant surprise to see this post pop up. I went through a painful break up last year and know how life can change completely virtually overnight. I hope you are doing well in your ‘new plan’. Cannot wait to see what you do with the kitchen!

  16. ew32766 says:

    Carrie, so sorry to hear that this happened to you. No apologies necessary. You are brave to write this and I hope you can find strength and enjoyment in blogging again! Thank you for sharing and welcome back!

  17. C says:

    Carrie, welcome back!
    I just organized my Reader a few days ago, and didn’t even doubt keeping you around in case you one day returned to updating, so I’m very glad you’re back! I’m also glad you’re doing well, and especially wanted to thank you for inspiring me. The part where you wrote about leaving people behind to avoid sharing really struck a chord, it’s time I take better care of my relationships.

    Anyway, can’t wait to see what you’ve done and are doing to the house!

  18. KMLiving says:

    A new post!! Hooray!! You’re back….. Awesome!

  19. Oh jeez, I was so upset when you stopped posting. I’m so sorry you went through a hard time, but I’m totally excited to read about your new renovations! I’m glad that you remain friends and that you get to stay in that amazing house. As someone who just completed a gut job on the kitchen, I’m incredibly psyched to see your demo and progress!!! Welcome back, Carrie!

    • Sarah says:

      Ah, you vulnerable open hearted friend and teacher. Such pain when two kind and beautiful souls take different paths to new life. From the scars bright strong shoots emerge-tho separately – as you both heal back to a team of one.
      During a similar experience I found it good to remember God’s arms were around me and those “others” involved (including a child).
      I am so glad you are back. I have missed the energy, organization and dog with a “sock-ed-ness” determination you have. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Imitation is happening here, feeble as it is.

  20. Nina says:

    Carrie, I was so happy to see that you posted again when I checked your blog! But then I read about your personal struggles and felt sad but I’m glad to hear that you are ok. I’ve been more of a lurker than commenter but have really enjoyed reading your blog as a fellow New Jersian (is that a word?) that fixes up a house. Looking forward to read more! Welcome back! 🙂

  21. eva says:

    Welcome back Carrie! I’m sorry that the last two years have thrown you for such big loops. It will be nice to see you pop back on the blog reader again (I never deleted you!). Can’t wait to see where this new start brings you.

  22. Just saw a (1) by your entry in my blogroll and smiled. Welcome back, dear! Sorry to hear about the tough times you’ve gone through but glad to hear the situation is amicable. I can’t wait to see more of what you’re doing and if you ever need a hand, just holler!

  23. stephanie says:

    horrrrrayyyy ! welcome back carrie. sorry you had to go thru those tough times, but i look forward to following along on your new adventures as ms.brickcitylove. i always enjoy seeing how wonderfully classy you make things look!

  24. Erica says:

    Wow – this is my first time dropping by and I only found you because of a comment that I saw on YHL’s latest entry. So I came over to check out the diamond tufted headboard [swoon] and then the kitchen demo [totally relate to that process after gutting ours 2 years ago] and then I saw the bathroom [drool]. Loved it, loved all of it.

    I’ll have to check back again.
    Cheers 🙂

  25. Jenna Hollowniczky says:

    Not sure if you remember me but we were in Concert Choir together. I just wanted to say that I am truly glad you are back to blogging about the house renovations. I faithfully read your blogs has they popped into my e-mail. I had noticed after a few months had gone by that there were no posts and checked the blog to see if something was wrong with my e-mail. Just a few weeks ago I was wondering what had happened but like so many of your other readers I did not want to ask because I was sure it was a private matter.
    I am glad to see that you kept the house and that you are continuing with the renovations. You truly have a gift for this sort of thing and an eye for detail. If you ever need any help in the way of Lighting/fixtures let me know. I work for an Electrical Distributor.

  26. sammy b says:

    you’re kicking some serious butt. i’ll be your friend again =)

  27. Antonio says:

    Hi Carrie. We used to follow your blog when we were dreaming of buying a house and moving to the Ironbound in Newark. glad to see you are back to posting! we had a serious renovation when we first moved in (not even comparable to just one of your most basic ones!) but glad to see your blog up and running. Would love to meet up some time in Newark!
    -Antonio and Sagine

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